🎁 Includes Bonus Content
The Speechless Place
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In the Artist's Words
This is my third and proudest album. I hosted a fundraiser in tandem with the release of the first single on the record (*Blame Game*) in 2024 so I could work with my favorite indie producer and artist Alex Siegel (Los Angeles) and mastering engineer Simon Lancelot (Paris). I hosted the fundraiser at a local venue where I also hosted a summer long residency and the turnout was amazing – we raised roughly $7k. It blew my mind.
Siegel and I recorded most of this album at his dreamy home studio in Venice, California. He really pushed me to stay raw with my vocals so a few of the songs' lead vocal parts are my unedited demo takes from my home studio. It's all so raw, we even left a moment of our studio pup, Skittles, breathing out in one of the songs because it added to the vibes (and was stuck in our favorite guitar take ;)
I directed 3 music videos for the record as well! Blame Game, Gifts Unravel, and So Far.
I plucked the album name *The Speechless Place* out of a line I wrote in Blame Game. "Navigate the speechless place" was a prompt for myself. It felt like a dare. To sit with my own feelings without any distractions. No guys, no sugar, no phones, no sex, you name it. I dropped it all and found a deeper version of myself in that place of my intuition.
This record took years to make, as they do. I lost a bunch of work/recordings whilst working with a previous producer but I'm glad it all worked out the way it did. I still got a ton of video recording and behind the scenes of the whole process that I'm excited and honored to share with you in this deluxe release. I'm grateful to Harmonic for providing a place that celebrates the holistic storytelling behind every piece of music. If you're here, I think you're awesome – it means you care beyond the bops. I love nerding out about the process, it's my favorite part! If my music can or has ever helped you in any way, I'm honored and grateful. Love and aloha to you!
Bonus Content
Gratitude scribble
Summer Winter
From my diary, the day I wrote the lyrics.
This one started as a small poem, morphing into a lullaby where I cupped my hands into a quiet triplet clap and wailed out my grief that somehow kept turning into gratitude. I didn’t know where to put all the love I had for a person I wasn’t with anymore. We overstayed our welcome and it was time to end, but my broken heart still overfloweth – like big waves that I couldn’t control.
This one was for me, with no intention of being on any record. But it became such a routine pacifier, I started to imagine a deeper heart (drum) beat, synth, and a lot more vocals. (Alas, my last album was a cappella, so I always imagine vocals first). My producer Alex Siegel and I didn’t care if this song sounded different than the rest on the album, we just wanted to match that lost, swirling feeling.
Gratitude had to be the first song on this project. It just felt like the right way to welcome you into The Speechless Place.
Morning Times scribble
Summer Winter
Straight from my diary, no edits.
I wrote this unplugged in my friends kitchen, where she let me stay grief and gratitude ridden after calling off an engagement. Mornings truly felt the hardest. The soft light and sweet beginnings each day forced me to reconcile with a relationship that no longer fit. I wrestled with regret and appreciation for all the lessons. Our people teach us, after all.
During production, none of my vocal takes felt right (too planned, too processed) so I chose to keep the raw demo vocals. I was so heartbroken it was hard to sing on beat, so my producer and I moved things around and swung the rest of production to follow my lead vocals. We stripped accompaniment away at times to mimic silent moments of grief and clarity that come from starting over.
“It’s really quiet now
And the memories are so loud
And all that I’m left with is a sense of love and I feel so proud
Instead of you, now I face the truth”
LMBYT scribble
Summer Winter
Straight from my diary, no edits.
The eldest and likely the angriest song on my third album. I was in a twisted way, where I thought myself to be smarter and sicker than the man I was dating. I also thought I could fix him. Turns out only two of the three were true – depending on who you ask. I rarely play this song live because of the intense contrast from chorus to verse. Plus, there’s the whole trumpet solo. Before I met Samuel, I opted for playing the “mouth trumpet”, a skill I picked up whilst recording my second album a cappella. Thank god he was able to play the actual trumpet part I wrote. I think it sounds a lot better when he does it.
Blame Game scribble
Summer Winter
Straight from my diary, no edits.
Originally written on the dilapidated classical guitar I write all my songs on, Blame Game is the first single on my third record. I always dreamt it would come alive with piano and after showing the final version to some friends, they’ve mentioned it sounds Beatles-esque. A compliment I never intended to receive, but makes sense considering my mom always quizzed me on their tunes growing up. This song is an ode to owning up to my part as a partner, sister, daughter, and person. “Take the coat off, navigate the speechless place” was a line I wrote to remind myself to get vulnerable and bravely look at the parts of me that contribute to my own unhappiness–to stop putting the blame on others, or my phone, or outside circumstances.
Naked scribble
Summer Winter
Straight from my diary, no edits.
“Naked, but not to have sex. Naked, to give up the jest.” I wrote this track to help me get honest. I was stuck in a relationship that I didn’t know how to get out of. Every lyric is precious to me and I even kept my demo vocals because they felt so raw. 1:09 is my favorite part because it starts to get celebratory. I learned how to honor my own feelings with people I felt close to and found the courage to move out and start my own life. Today I’m so glad I was my own ally. Hope you enjoy.
Gifts Unravel scribble
Summer Winter
Straight from my diary, no edits. Gifts Unravel is a song about finally being able to look people in the eye and be present. I heard a friend say “we’re all angels with one wing and need each other to fly” and that poetic statement struck me with gratitude for the deep relationships in my life that carried me through a really hard year of grief. I wanted the sound to feel intimate, dynamic, slightly nostalgic, and playful to match the quality of my friendships. This song is a romantic declaration for connection. I tracked vocals in a beautifully peaceful studio in The Catskills of upstate NY called The Outlier Inn on a combination of old microphones including a birdcage. One of my favorite moments is the sound of a sparkly sword right before the chorus at 2:01 to represent how my friends slice through my fears with ease. This is the most romantic song I’ve ever written not about love. I’m gonna sing this song to all of the beautiful people in my life and look them right in the eyes the whole time.
So Far scribble
Summer Winter
Straight from my dairy, no edits. I kept failing in relationships. I kept meeting weirdos or they’d bring out the weirdo in me. I felt pulled in different directions, so I let the chord progressions in the chorus follow that tension. Honestly I’m so proud of the musical changes in this song. It sounds like a chill jazzy indie song but So Far became my pledge/anthem to stay single and focus on being healthy, by myself, to not chase it in other people. I felt so far away from me and this song helped me make my way back. Aloha for listening.
Blame Game - raw demo
Summer Winter
BTS of What Do Ya Do
Summer Winter
Made only for this platform. BTS footage and how we made What Do Ya Do <3
Gratitude a cappella outro
Summer Winter